What you do matters.

Think about that for a minute. Have you ever sat down and thought about what effect you have on your own life? On those around you? On the world itself? Do you act as if what you do matters? Probably not all the time. Maybe hardly ever.

Now, you may be thinking that nothing you do matters. Just leave me alone, I’m not hurting anyone. Why bother with anything? Why bother improving? Why bother pursuing excellence? Why be virtuous? I’ll just play video games.

Those are all good questions. Why not just play video games? Maybe a bunch of stuff happens and then you die. The Nihilistic view is quite compelling, but it really doesn’t help anything. Maybe nothing you do will matter in a million years, but it will matter in the next year. And not just in your own life, but also those around you. Can you concede that what you do matters in a smaller time frame? That you might actually be able to make things better? Or that your current mindset might be making things worse?

I have a story to share. About the time I was drastically making changes in my life, I had an effect on someone I didn’t expect. I was learning how to dance during this time and my mother was talking to her neighbor about it. This neighbor had known me before I moved out on my own and was surprised I was doing that, since I had been a pretty anxious kid. Apparently, this neighbor’s son overheard their conversation and was inspired by what I had done. This kid was about 13 and had always wanted to join the drama club at his school, but up to that point, he was too anxious. But because he heard about me doing something that scared me, he found the courage within himself to go after something he wanted. He joined the drama club. I did nothing to help this kid, he found the strength within himself by just seeing that it could be done. I thought that was incredibly cool, especially for doing such a thing at his age. He’s well on his way to getting the life he wants.

I was blown away when I heard that. It was the first time that it hit home that I could indirectly help people. I had no idea that could happen, let alone that it would happen. When you make yourself better, it ripples out.

You don’t know what impact your actions will have, but I do know this: the better you make yourself, the better you end up making those around you. The inverse is also true: the worse you are, the worse you make those around you. There’s a saying you may have heard: one rotten apple spoils the bunch. What you choose to do in your life doesn’t just affect you. Your influence reaches farther than you can ever know.

You are the sum of the choices you’ve made. Being better or being worse is a choice you have to make, every day, and by doing so, you make the world a little better or a little worse.

What will you choose today?

Have you ever caught yourself saying to yourself, “Oh, I can’t do that.” The voice says it and you believe it. Maybe it’s not in the first person, maybe it’s, “Oh, you can’t do that. You’ll never be able to do that. Why do you kid yourself?” I know I’ve heard that voice. I listened to that voice for a very long time. But I’ve learned a lot about that voice in the past ten years or so. 

That voice is often wrong.

And not just a little wrong, completely wrong. When I was looking into learning how to dance, I watched a few videos of couples dancing and thinking how fun that would be to learn. Then that voice reared its head, “You’ll never learn how to do that. Even if you did, there’s no way you’d have the guts to ask a girl to dance, let alone one as gorgeous as that.” I remember that voice bringing me to tears, because I believed what it told me. I believed that no matter how hard I tried, I’d never be able to have the life I wanted. This was at a time in my life that my anxiety was at its worst. I couldn’t go to a grocery store within experience intense anxiety, how could I hope to learn how to dance? Dancing, by its very nature, is social, how could I hope to learn?

But something happened then, I told the voice I was going to try anyway. “But you can’t learn. Even with a private lesson, you’ll be too nervous. You’ll be shaking, your hands will be sweaty, you’ll humiliate yourself. You can’t do it.” It became even more adamant about stopping me, giving me any excuse that seemed remotely possible and any insult that might deter me, reminding me how awkward I was. I said it was probably right, but I was going to try anyway. For once in my life, I didn’t let that voice stop me. I still believed it at the time, but I still wanted to try. I was at a point where I didn’t want to live like that anymore, I needed to do something about my life.

So I scheduled a private lesson the next week and waited for the day to come. I stressed the whole time, almost cancelling as the day drew closer. The voice was constantly trying to get me to back out, desperately trying to coax me back into my comfort zone. But I held out and when the day came, I drove to the studio, hoping my car would break down so I wouldn’t have to go. Everything was fine and I made it to the studio unscathed. 

Do you know what happened? I fell in love with dance and it changed my life. Booking that lesson turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life. Sometimes a seemingly small action can change the course of your life. Sometimes you can do what you don’t think you can do.

Was I an amazing dancer right off the bat? Of course not, I stumbled and had to learn a lot. But I loved it and it led me to being able to do more things I didn’t know I could do, things I thought were impossible at one point in my life. 

That voice is still there and it will tell me I can’t do this or that. Sometimes it’s right and it will stop me from doing something stupid, so it does have a place, it’s not always wrong. But I’ve learned to realize when it’s most likely right and when it’s just freaking out for no reason. Usually it’s wrong and is just being overly dramatic. For example, it always told me I’d never be able to date a woman I was incredibly attracted to. I’m happy to say it was wrong about that, too.

What is something you’ve wanted to do that you don’t think you can do no matter how hard you try? I bet you’re more capable than you think. Sometimes, all you have to do is take that first step and your life will change.