This is the first part in a series about letting go.
If I had to take a guess, I’d wager you have some stuff you don’t need. Things you don’t use anymore, don’t like anymore, are mostly broken, forgot you owned, etc. I’ll be going over the concept of letting go and I decided to start with physical possessions, because it’s the easiest and it actually leads into the others.
I’ll be honest: I love stuff. Stuff is cool, it’s interesting, it’s exciting. I enjoy the stuff I own and am amazed at the skill people possess in creating things. However, years ago, I discovered that I had a problem related to stuff. I owned too much stuff and part of the reason was because I used shopping as a way to feel good. It was a form of escapism. New things gave me something to look forward to, something to get excited about, so I could forget about how much I didn’t like my life. I surrounded myself with things so I could numb the pain.
I’m not saying you’re doing this, my experience is just an example of how possessions can be used in an unhealthy way. Over the years, I’ve gradually culled my possessions to the point where I don’t own anything I don’t use.
You don’t have to become a minimalist, but I suggest taking a look at your possessions. Is there anything you don’t use anymore? Are there any emotions that come up when you think about getting rid of it? Is there any guilt associated with it?
I’ll give a recent example. I gave away my guitar not too long ago. For over 2 years, I owned this guitar, but hardly ever played. I learned a little bit and there were periods where I was consistent with it, but for the most part, it just gathered dust. Every time I looked at that guitar, I felt a little guilty for not playing it. For over 2 years. So I gave it away. As the guitar went away, so did the guilt. I came to terms with the fact that I just wasn’t into it and I had other priorities that I cared about more. And that’s okay. I don’t regret trying it out and I can always try again if I feel so inclined. In the meantime, getting rid of the guilt freed up more mental space than I realized it was taking up.
Unfinished projects, old hobby supplies, expensive clothes you don’t like, things you hold onto because you feel like getting rid of them would be a waste. Though if you don’t use it or like it, it’s already a waste and it’s weighing on your mind with guilt, making it cost more the longer you keep it.
Another reason to purge excess stuff is related to something I realized in myself. This might not be your experience, but I’ve found that the environment I’m responsible for is a reflection of my current state of mind. When I lived at home, this was my room. When I moved out, it was my house and apartment. My home mirrored my mind. When things were messy, my mind was messy. The act of cleaning my home helped me clear my mind and get it in order. The physical affected the mental.
The stuff I owned represented what I valued. Too many things caused me to lose focus. Having less things allowed me to focus on what I valued most. I have a large empty floor space because I value dancing, whether practicing alone or bringing home a date. I have a painting of Saint George and the Dragon because I value facing challenges head on; I value courage. I have a space for weights because I value my health and becoming stronger. Having less possessions helped me find and focus on what I valued most. It helped me get rid of guilt and work through emotions I would have otherwise ignored.
It also helped me let go of identities I felt were no longer me. For a large portion of my life, I identified as a geek or nerd. I had a collection of sci-fi and fantasy novels, comic books, movie prop replicas, art, swords, figurines, etc. A lot of stuff that mirrored what I valued at the time. There’s nothing inherently wrong with liking these things, but I realized that I was drifting away from it more and more. It was my whole identity and that’s where I saw the problem. I wanted to be more than a nerd. I wanted to dance and sing. I wanted to get in shape. I wanted to not be awkward with women, I wanted to be charming and flirty. Getting rid of a lot of the geeky paraphernalia helped make room for these other things, both physically and mentally.
Like a phoenix, sometimes parts of you have to burn off for something new to take its place.
I’m still a history nerd. I still love Lord of the Rings and think Tolkien was a genius. I still play video games and enjoy geeky things, but it’s not my whole identity anymore. It’s not my whole life. It’s a much smaller part than it used to be.
If you want to be more than you currently are, sometimes that requires you to rid yourself of things that no longer serve you. Mentally, physically, emotionally. Curating the things you surround yourself with is a way to start that process.
What’s one thing that’s no longer serving you?