I’m not particularly religious anymore, but I do think there’s a tremendous amount of wisdom in the Bible. I don’t think that book was ever meant to be taken literally, though. For most of human history, stories weren’t meant to be taken as history. Just because something didn’t happen, though, doesn’t mean it’s not true, in the sense that it conveys something true. Great stories are always much more than mere entertainment. I think believers and non-believers alike do the Bible an injustice when they take it literally. It’s the distillation of tens of thousands of years of the stories humans told each other, I don’t think it’s a good idea to dismiss it.
“The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.” Proverbs 9:10.
What comes to mind if you take that literally? Someone cowering before a god like an ant?
What if we take it another way? God represents everything we are not. Nature, the unknown, the ultimate ideals, the universe itself. In this context, fear of God would be an act of humility. Fear being more of a respect for it, than cowering before it. Like when you look up at the stars and realize how small you are. How does that change it?
“Humility is the beginning of wisdom.”
Bingo. Now, moving out of the Bible, this idea is illustrated in the life of Socrates. The Oracle had announced that Socrates was the wisest man in Greece. Upon hearing this, Socrates was puzzled. He didn’t know much of anything, so he didn’t think that could possibly be correct. He then set out to find someone wiser than himself, thinking it would be easy to do so. He went to the great artists, since their works conveyed much wisdom, but upon talking with them, he discovered they didn’t understand what their art conveyed, they were just conduits, the art flowing through them. He then went to the great politicians and artisans. These were very successful men, surely they were more wise than he. He discovered that because these men were successful, they thought that meant they knew about matters with which they were unfamiliar. They thought they knew a lot when in fact they knew little.
That’s when Socrates realized the Oracle was right. He was the wisest man in Greece, not because he knew many things, but because he knew that he didn’t know. He had the humility to admit that he didn’t know anything.
If you lack humility, you can’t learn from your mistakes.
When I was young, I came across a quote that went like this:
“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.”
It was attributed to Socrates, but I learned later he never said that. What he said was, “I know one thing, that I know nothing.” I liked the quote, and understood it to a degree, but it wasn’t until later that I realized how important it would be to my life.
When I was a teenager, I thought I knew everything. I think that’s pretty common, but, as a teenager, I discovered what my IQ was and it went straight to my head. I was very proud of it. Though as I’ve become older, I’ve realized how much I don’t know. I’ve been wrong so many times and I will be wrong again, no doubt. I’m not too proud of my IQ anymore, as I’ve come to value Wisdom above Intelligence. I didn’t earn my intelligence, but wisdom is always something earned, something lived. You can be smart, but not wise, and wise, but not smart.
How does this relate to self-improvement?
Humility, the willingness to be wrong, is the only way you’ll be able to change your life. If you don’t like how your life is, you have to admit you’ve been doing something wrong. Not everything in your life is your fault, but there’s always something that is. Focus on what you can change, admit to what you’ve been doing wrong, and try something different. If you don’t think you can do something, be willing to be wrong about that. You have to humble yourself.
One good way of practicing humility is learning a new skill. You won’t be any good at the beginning and even when you are proficient in something, you’ll be aware of how much more you need to learn.
I don’t think it’s wrong to be proud of things you’ve overcome and accomplished, but too much pride will blind you. You also have to humble yourself in being realistic about how much you can change at once. I have a problem where I think I can do more than I actually can. I take on too much and it all falls apart around me. I think it’s good to push your limits to see what you can truly handle, but when something is too much, letting go of your pride becomes paramount. Be compassionate with yourself, recognize where you are doing well along with where you need improvement. Treat yourself the same way you would treat a friend. Don’t try to stop smoking, lose weight, wake up early, work out, meditate, do yoga, learn a language, all at the same time if you’re just starting out. Is it possible? Sure. Is it probable you’ll succeed? Not really. Changing one behavior is already very difficult, there’s no need to overdo it. I know it can be tempting to completely change your life at once, but try focusing on one at a time. Once a new behavior is ensconced in your life, move on to the next. Be humble about what you can handle. A small step toward change is still a step toward change. Maybe you’re not ready to completely give up smoking, but smoking one less cigarette a day is something you can do. Very small change, but it’s an improvement nonetheless.
Don’t discount how much the little things add up.
Being humble is easier said than done, I know this from experience. My pride has blinded more than I care to admit. The important thing is to just try and keep it in mind as much as possible. Concede that you just might be wrong about something. It doesn’t mean you are wrong, just concede that it’s possible. It’s okay to be wrong, though, and it’s incredibly useful to learn when you are. People make mistakes. You make mistakes.
Humility is just the act of acknowledging that you don’t know everything. It doesn’t make you bad. It just makes you human.