Have you ever caught yourself saying to yourself, “Oh, I can’t do that.” The voice says it and you believe it. Maybe it’s not in the first person, maybe it’s, “Oh, you can’t do that. You’ll never be able to do that. Why do you kid yourself?” I know I’ve heard that voice. I listened to that voice for a very long time. But I’ve learned a lot about that voice in the past ten years or so.
That voice is often wrong.
And not just a little wrong, completely wrong. When I was looking into learning how to dance, I watched a few videos of couples dancing and thinking how fun that would be to learn. Then that voice reared its head, “You’ll never learn how to do that. Even if you did, there’s no way you’d have the guts to ask a girl to dance, let alone one as gorgeous as that.” I remember that voice bringing me to tears, because I believed what it told me. I believed that no matter how hard I tried, I’d never be able to have the life I wanted. This was at a time in my life that my anxiety was at its worst. I couldn’t go to a grocery store within experience intense anxiety, how could I hope to learn how to dance? Dancing, by its very nature, is social, how could I hope to learn?
But something happened then, I told the voice I was going to try anyway. “But you can’t learn. Even with a private lesson, you’ll be too nervous. You’ll be shaking, your hands will be sweaty, you’ll humiliate yourself. You can’t do it.” It became even more adamant about stopping me, giving me any excuse that seemed remotely possible and any insult that might deter me, reminding me how awkward I was. I said it was probably right, but I was going to try anyway. For once in my life, I didn’t let that voice stop me. I still believed it at the time, but I still wanted to try. I was at a point where I didn’t want to live like that anymore, I needed to do something about my life.
So I scheduled a private lesson the next week and waited for the day to come. I stressed the whole time, almost cancelling as the day drew closer. The voice was constantly trying to get me to back out, desperately trying to coax me back into my comfort zone. But I held out and when the day came, I drove to the studio, hoping my car would break down so I wouldn’t have to go. Everything was fine and I made it to the studio unscathed.
Do you know what happened? I fell in love with dance and it changed my life. Booking that lesson turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life. Sometimes a seemingly small action can change the course of your life. Sometimes you can do what you don’t think you can do.
Was I an amazing dancer right off the bat? Of course not, I stumbled and had to learn a lot. But I loved it and it led me to being able to do more things I didn’t know I could do, things I thought were impossible at one point in my life.
That voice is still there and it will tell me I can’t do this or that. Sometimes it’s right and it will stop me from doing something stupid, so it does have a place, it’s not always wrong. But I’ve learned to realize when it’s most likely right and when it’s just freaking out for no reason. Usually it’s wrong and is just being overly dramatic. For example, it always told me I’d never be able to date a woman I was incredibly attracted to. I’m happy to say it was wrong about that, too.
What is something you’ve wanted to do that you don’t think you can do no matter how hard you try? I bet you’re more capable than you think. Sometimes, all you have to do is take that first step and your life will change.