You’re not perfect just the way you are. There, I said it. Is that a relief? Or are you thinking, how dare you?! I am so perfect! My mom said so!
I can’t tell you how much I hate the phrase “You’re perfect just the way you are.” Or some variant like “You’re just fine the way you are.” Because when someone is wanting to make a change and someone else responds with “You’re just fine”, that’s really not going to help them. If I’m perfect right now, then this is all I have to look forward to in my life? Things can’t get better? How depressing is that?
I understand why people tell others they are ‘just fine’, they generally are being nice and don’t want the person to feel bad about themselves. Or, on a darker note, they don’t want the person to improve, because then it will just remind them of their own failings. But for now, let’s go with they’re just being nice. Nice doesn’t help you improve, though. Cold reality is often anything but nice. But it’s in facing the harshness of the truth that you’re better able to improve.
Which is why it should be a relief to know you’re not perfect just the way you are. You can get better. There’s always room for improvement and you can make those improvements. Can’t wake up on time? You can learn to be an early bird. Overweight and out of breath all the time? You can lose fat and increase respiratory endurance. Do you spend all your money as soon as you get it? You can learn to be a saver. I know all this because I’ve been there.
I used to not be able to get up before 10 on the weekends. Now I get up at 4:30 in the morning without effort. I used to be obese. I lost weight, built muscle, and work out 5 days a week. I used to spend every cent I earned on useless crap I no longer have. Then I got my finances in order and was able to buy a house at 22, selling it later for nearly double.
Changing your beliefs about yourself is vital to your improvement. If you think something won’t work and you never try it, it’s the same as failing. If you actually try, it might just work. You might be wrong about your own abilities. It’s useful to find out where you’re wrong, and I guarantee you’re wrong about something. The sooner you find out what it is, the better. So try something you don’t think will work.
And I don’t mean try the “Lose 30 pounds in 10 days!” sort of thing. That crap actually doesn’t work, or if it does, it’s only a short-term fix. Any change worth making takes time to bear fruit. Lasting weight loss happens 1-2 pounds per week. Waking up early takes months to acclimate to. Changing spending habits and learning to not touch your savings takes time. If you’re looking for a quick fix, you’ve come to the wrong place. Change takes place over time. It requires sacrifice. It’s not glamorous or sexy to count calories and lose a pound, but it’s the repeated effort that bears fruit. Once you change, you have to maintain new habits, if you go back to old habits, you’ll be back where you started.
No one is perfect just as they are, everyone should always strive to be better. You don’t have to hate yourself to want to improve, but even if that’s your starting place, improving yourself is one way to start loving yourself. Everyone has the power to make their life better, no matter their current circumstances. Sometimes it can feel daunting to tackle all the things you want to improve, which is why I recommend taking it in small chunks. Sometimes a drastic change is useful, but often that is unsustainable. Small changes made over time tend to stick better and it is my intention with this blog to help people do that.
I’m not perfect just the way I am and neither are you.
Stick around, let’s get better together.